*lying on the ground a little bloody during the evening on the outskirts of town, looking rather pale, probably needs medical assistance*

*lying there, staying awake with her will power, unable to get up*

That was so uncalled for.  I've seen more called for referee decisions in a game of  fantasy faceball, even more called for than that time the decision got the spectators to march onto the fields and trample the referee, then HEAL him to trample him more.

... I'm gonna get that bastar--

... gotta stay awake... then I won't have to worry about waking up later...

MAN OH MAN... running the coliseum is GREAT.  Bard, I am so happy that we worked this out so well.  We are making such good money.  ... it was just like yesterday that we were two people almost at each other's THROATS!  Wait... maybe that was yesterday... but... still, we've come a long way!

Etna!  I'm feeling damn hungry today.   Tell Aizen to be ready to prepare a FEAST.

*eating some beef jerky, wearing a tiara and dress, carrying a diamond rod* Bard... just what the hell is this? *Has his gift in a bag*

And, uh, wow, Red Mage, is this thing real? *waves it around a bit*

I've started remembering some of my crazy friends from back home, and... I can't believe I'm going to say this, but this place is starting to seem normal... at least I don't have anyone around trying to pour justice down my throat. But damn it...! I thought princes were supposed to be prettier than that...!!

The weird blue guy wasn't so bad I guess.

((1% on the first time she met Amelia, 1% on the first time Zelgadis left her, 1% on the first time she met met Prince Phil, 1% on flight, 1% remaining))

To all you guys who have applied to work at the Coliseum, listen up! I'm one of your managers, Sorcery Genius Lina Inverse! Just remember that I'm in charge here, and I'm sure we'll get along just fine. Looking forward to it! And to all you who haven't applied? HOW COME?



And speaking of my sorcery genius, I remembered something pretty cool. I sure know a lot of attack magic~ Well, it is pretty much the coolest kind, ain't it?

[Private, hackable]
I also remembered something that either makes me want gag, or recoil in fear like a snake with no poison resistance. The way I was back during the whole ... weeks where we were all acting weird? An evil mirror made a whole town full of Inverted Inverses... ew ew ew ew ew...

((1% on Demona Crystal, 1% on the town of mirror-mirror Linas))

Hahah~! Sorceress Genius Lina Inverse strikes again! I wrote a new fire shamanism spell to cook and season everything in the explosion, and it works just as intended!

Plus it had the side effect of making that those trees smell really tasty.

Yep! Just sitting here, enjoying my easy, effortless turkey feast, and...

oh ew... I... is that it's stomach...?

... n-note to self... figure out how to make spell gut the food first next time...

((Lina went and blew up turkeys in the woods. Some trees probably got blown down too. >.>))

MAN THAT WAS SATISFYING. A massive surplus of big, flightless birds is the best. It's like an excuse to go hunting. By the way, does anyone know if I can sell... lumber... around here?

And oh man, I did not know birds could bounce like that.

HEY, WOMAN THAT LIVES WITH ME. I brought back like 100 turkeys; get cookin'.

((Lina's nightmare turned Memento Eden into the undead Sairaag that Phibrizzo created, and having people taken away from her in an attempt to make her cast the Giga Slave; 1% on Gourry, 1% of Phibrizzo, 1% on the end of Phibrizzo's story where she was forced to cast the spell, not remembering anything after the point where Hellmaster nearly kills her))

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Hah.... everyone I remember from home seems to suck...

... I wish I could say I believed that. That ... idiot is an understatement. He was dumb as a stone statue beaten over the head with hammers, but he was a great guy. He didn't deserve that... none of them deserved that... oh, Gourry...

... Hellmaster Phibrizzo. Hah, so I was fighting a god, huh? The god of death... normally I think I'd be proud for putting up such a good fight given the circumstances.

... did I lose?

... am I dead? This doesn't quite seem like hell, though.

Okay, so I gotta give this place credit; they've really done a good job with ... making this place a den of despair or whatever. Seriously, fairly creepy guys, but frankly, while I may be impressed... it's more annoying than scary.

This is gotta be a PRIME time for magical research. Think of all the weird stuff that's popped up over night that I could gather and study. All the new magical creatures out there. I mean, come on, some of them must be tasty. I wonder what werebear taste like.

HEY, FIZBAN. ASSISTANT SORCERY GENIUS. ERK. ANY OTHER MAGIC USERS OR... ALCHEMISTS OR WHATEVER. This is fascinating stuff~! I'm organizing a team to gather specimen for research, pronto! Who's with me?

Soo~ anyone wanna go to that onsen shindig with Lina Inverse? Nothing like a good bath after a big meal, you know. You won't wanna miss it.

But it's not a date. Got that? Not. A. Date.

C'mon, guys, don't line up, just fight over it or something. Be sure to be there, or I'll go on a rampage~

Oh, greaaat, I go back to normal just in time to be on the rag. Just great. Plus I remembered these AWFUL people last week. I was trying not to think about them, but UGH. Not only were they awful, but one of them had these huge gazongas she was constantly sporting wearing like... cheesy bondage lingerie like she was some kind of evil overlordess. If it wasn't that she kept following me around (I seriously could NOT get rid of the woman) and kinda working together with me I'd have assumed she was a villain. Spikes, skulls and black lingerie are such type cast villain costume material, you know?

And she had this AWFUL laugh that just wouldn't stop. And the breasts. They jiggled when she laughed. In fact, they just jiggled whenever she moved, but it was the worst when she LAUGHED. I feel so inadequate again.

And I remembered my sister. Oh god... she's... she's... scary... and I can think of few things that scare me.

Oh, and this creepy, cutesy purpled haired evil jerk. He totally proved that I apparently have a history of begrudged alliances with demons... I don't remember many people, but i'd bet he's the most untrustworthy guy I've ever met. Pfft, "that's a secret," my ass.

I'm suddenly really glad I'm here and far away from all of these people.

((3% memory spent on remembering Naga, Luna, and Xellos))

You know, I feel like this is supposed to bother me, but I suddenly feel free of so many expectations for some reason.  Time to kick back and relax with a nice big breakfast, maybe go out and finish that magic research.  Or I'll just take another long nap; I don't know.

Maybe I should go out somewhere and finish that sexy beam~ spell.

Y'know, I like the free food and all, but... between people burning it or getting bits of wood from cutting boards mixed with veggies and what not from time to time,and it being like a cafeteria and thusly not being able to pick what to eat~ I have come to decision.

I, Lina Inverse, am looking for a personal chef!  Must be willing to ... discreetly borrow food from the apartment kitchen and make feasts for none other than me~  Also to be willing to handle midnight snacks.  I'll pay $10 per hour spent in the kitchen.

No resumes are necessary.  I will judge you based upon how delicious your food is!  Anyone who applies shall bring to my room, 301; I'm the fiery hot red head, not the blonde, by the way.  -50 points to anyone who gives my food to Rozalin.

Applicants!  This is your test!

2 pot roasts, shabu shabu, 3 calzones, spaghetti and meatballs, a 4 T-bone steaks (2 medium rare, 2 well done~), a tuna casserole, 3 pans of yorkshire pudding, 2 salads (one with blue cheese dressing, the other with a vinaigrette), 4 bowls of gnochi (1 with red sauce, 2 with pesto, one with alfredo), 10 bowls of itallian wedding soup, and a pan of seafood pasta w/ anchovies and garlic butter.  For dessert, bring 2 banana splits, a strawberry & watermelon agua, 2 pints of rose gelato to go with 3 pints of butter-brickle ice cream, a pecan pie, 2 strawberry cheesecakes, and 4 fruit tarts.

Oh!  Aaaand... a cadbury egg omelette.

Alternatively, anyone who can kill and properly prepare a dragon may do that instead~

tags: om nom nom

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*Lina has padded her concave chest out to what she thinks is normal size. In fact, she suspects she has smaller breasts than she actually does, so feel free to comment on her flat chest at your own risk. Oh, and they're a little uneven.*

I don't know why I didn't think of this before. Damn it, I can't under go any radical changes this way though... though maybe I could research a spell to grow breasts. Or maybe I could just stuff and SAY I researched a spell to grow breasts.

Though I bet a breast growing spellw ould be pretty lucrative.[/private]

Hey, where were all you guys who said you'd come to auditions? Seriously guys? Laaaaame.



Does anyone wanna trade room mates?

Oh, and whoever rooms with Haruko? This offer is not open to you.

Just sit yourself down here and wait until my associates arrive and we get this business started~  *Lina said as she let go of Yuki in the front row of the ampitheater, then walked over and hoisted herself up on stage; people were just starting to file in, but she was certainly willing to repeat herself for this*

All of you who are here just this little bit early, your dedication is appreciated!  Welcome to the open casting call for Wil'yam Shex'pir's Ham'let!  I am Lina Inverse, your director, and...

Hey!  Co-director!  Where are you?  Get on stage!!!

...


Well, he should be here soon.  In the mean time, here is some reading material.  *Lina gives a pile of paper packets to Yuki*  Pass these out, okay?

*climbs back on stage* On them is a summary of the play, along with a list of the cast, and some of their more important scenes.  ((Good wikipedia characters in Hamlet or somethingFeel free to butcher whatever part of Shakespeare you want or to... make stuff up I'm looking at you, Beat.)), just come on state, show us your stuff, and prepare for judgment I, as director, will delegate.

You know, sometimes I think when we're not all being driven insane by the island, not enough interesting stuff happens around here.  Seriously, guys, we needs some entertainment.  And I say why not a theatre troupe?  We can rehearse and put on a big production!  I'd love to do pyrotechnics, direct, produce, aaand play the leading female, but I could give up one or two of those since maybe I'd rather be lazy.  And as great of a leading lady as i'd be, traditionally~ theatre is only done by men.  Not that I realy care about auditions but the idea putting all those men in period piece dresses sounds like so much fun.

I found this great play in the library.  It was written in two languages, but thankfully, I can read one.  The title was "The Klingon Hamlet."  I'm gonna make an open casting call at the ampetheater later today~  Be there or be blown up Be sure to be there!!  You won't wanna miss it!

I RETRACT ANY AND ALL STATEMENTS ABOUT THIS HAVING BEEN AT ALL BETTER THIS TIME.  I COME BACK FROM A NICE DAY IN THE DESERT, HOPING TO TAKE A LONG BATH AND EAT A NICE, BIG MEAL, AND MY APARTMENT IS WASTED.    IT LOOKS LIKE A VERY, HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPO THOUGHT MY HOUSE WAS MADE OF CANDY.

AND FROM WHAT I CAN TELL, I'M NOT ALONE IN THIS.  EVERYONE, I SAY WE MOBILIZE AN ANGRY MOB MILITIA.

You know, maybe I'm just used to this kinda craziness already, but this isn't so bad this time.  For one, it's not me, for two, there are people running around being violent, for three, there's no one outside the apartment attempting to proposition me.  All things considered so far it looks like we got off lucky this week.  I'm starting to get worried we're going to have to do something to make this stuff stop though. There must be a cause.



But much more importantly, I remembered something VERY interesting this morning.   For the safety of the city, I think it would be absolutely necessary to build a magical research laboratory.  Underground.  Very deep underground.  Magical research is really potentially very dangerous thing when something goes wrong, like entire country sides becoming oh but a sweet yet boring memory.

Oh, aaand I'll need a demon lord on this plane of existance.  Or upon a linked higher one.  Don't put it past me to try and research a spell to summon one.

But back to the magical laboratory!  I'd be happy to share the facility with any other sorcery genius' on the island.  It could be a community thing out in the desert.  I mean, if they desert gets blown up, it'll all turn into glass anyway, right?  A huge pane of glass would be a lot cooler than a big pile of sand.

... in fact... that sounds like a lot of fun.  I'm gonna go make some glass right now.

((Lina spends her last 3% of memory on remembering how to summon the power of demon lords to use their magic :3))

Haha~!  I finally remembered who I am!  Lina!  Lina Inverse!  The Natural Enemy of All Who Live!?!?!  Wait, what?  Why am I called that?  Am I some kind of villainess?  Why can't I have a really cool title?  Actually I guess that's kind of cool but it still gives such a bad wrap!!
((1% for fireball for later use (I'm not copying Fizban really this is just uhh parallel evolution!), 1% for full name and title, 3% memory unspent))

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I can't believe I gave all my money away, and now there's a festival.  How I supposed to go around eating any festival food or playing games like this?  Good job, Lina.  Shine on bright eyes.  Ugh... I don't want to keep thinking about what I was doing that week.  I wonder if I could somehow fake those sparkly eyes though

At least I mostly gave my money to worthy causes.  I can't really complain about supporting libraries, education, healing the sick, or housing the homeless, but that romantic charity?  I bit into that stupid bait hook line and sinker.  How could I have been so gullible?  What was it even called again...?
[Private]

HEY GUITAR BASHING WOMAN.  I WANT MY MONEY BACK, AND IF I DON'T GET IT, I'M GOING TO KILL ONE PERSON EVERY DAY UNTIL I RECIEVE PAYMENT ROB THE BANK MAKE YOU FIND OUT HOW WORTHY A CHARITY THE HEALERS ARE.



Eheh... if you're not a woman who hits people with guitars, please disregard the above~  Does anyone want to go the festival together...?  So I can spend your money?

AAAAAAAAAAUGH!!  I... I...

I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS LIKE THAT FOR ALMOST A WEEK.  I...

I WANT TO EAT A STEAK.  NO, I WANT TO EAT VEAL.  VEAL.  AND RABBITS.  AND... ASSERT MY STATUS ON THE FOOD CHAIN.

OH GOD I ALMOST FEEL SICK WITH ANGER AND SELF LOATHING...

*BEATS HER HEAD INTO A TREE REPEATEDLY, THEN UP ROOTS THE TREE AND THROWS IT INTO THE LAKE
 WITH ANGER FUELED STRENGTH* ((Yes, i have canonical presidence for being able to do this just this once. ^^;))